Losing my little boy was one of the hardest personal
challenges I have been thorough. I was never sure if his short little time
growing inside of me could be counted as coming to earth and getting a body -
one of God's major purposes for His children. When I found out I was pregnant
again, I was so grateful. We all thought It was a boy! I allowed myself to hope
that it was him, coming back to me.
We just had an ultra sound and we are having a girl! Of
course we are thrilled to be having a little girl. We will love her with all
our hearts. She is healthy and all looks well!
In some ways, it has been like losing my little boy all over
again. I had really hoped it was him. I am having to work though new and
resurfacing emotions. There are so many questions. So many things I don't know
and that I don't understand. Was there really a spirit connected with his tiny
body? Will I get him again in this life? Will I ever have him at all? So many
things I just don't know. The older I get the more I don't know! BUT here is
what I DO know for sure. I know that God
is in His Heaven. I know He loves His children. I know He is aware of little
old me and that He has a plan for me. I have felt His presence and of this love over and over
again undeniably though out my life, in many different ways. I know He sent His
Son, Jesus Christ to die for me and all of us. I know through Them, all our
deepest wounds can be healed. All that is unfair about life will be made right.
I know very little, but this I KNOW, I can trust in my loving Heavenly Father.
So here is to headbands and frills, to pink and lace.
Can't wait to meet you sweet baby girl!
Can't wait to meet you sweet baby girl!